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Unless you are in a committed, long-term relationship then discretion is the name of the game when dating as a single father. There are plenty of women out there that have no connection to your children’s lives. There are landmines everywhere once you start dating within your kids’ social circle, just don’t. You shouldn’t be introducing a woman to your kids until you’re in a committed LTR with her, period. If you feel she is LTR worthy, and she has earned the right to meet your kids, then introduce her to them as your “girlfriend.” This label is important, kids need to know who this person is.

Remember, your kids are your first priority, your dating life comes after that. Calling her your “friend” just confuses them because they know there is more to it, kids are perceptive. If you’re not calling her your “girlfriend” then she doesn’t exist to your children.

I’ve asked and been asked all of these questions in the past, and wanted to provide some of my own thoughts about dating single parents.

Your kids will always come first so there is no point wasting your time with someone who does not understand that.

He broke off one relationship because her dream of a downtown condo didn't fit with his need for a yard and swing set.

"I think sometimes the women I dated didn't realize that single dads still have parenting obligations that, for me, came first," said Ruyter, now 36, who maintains the blog "Memoirs of a Single Dad" (memoirsofasingledad.com) and recently self-published the book "Memoirs of a Dating Dad."Changing landscape As fathers grow more engaged in child rearing, and courts more willing to grant them custody, single dads increasingly are dating with kids in tow — in heart if not in hand.

Not to mention, you are both employed in some way or another and have a multitude of life, family and work commitments to work around. As your relationship grows you will become a priority, but when it’s new, you will be second fiddle to his kids.

Tread carefully and take time to vet them properly.

Some 2.8 million single dads live with their kids, up 27 percent from 10 years ago and nearly double the number in 1990, according to Matthew Weinshenker, assistant sociology professor at Fordham University, who analyzed 2010 census data.

(The number likely includes many joint custody arrangements.) While single dads face many of the same dating challenges as single moms, there are some differences: In a survey of 100 single fathers, the vast majority preferred to date women with children, thinking she would be more selfless and understanding of his commitment as a father, said Ellie Slott Fisher, who conducted the survey as research for her book "Dating for Dads: The Single Father's Guide to Dating Well Without Parenting Poorly" (Bantam).

Some guys are put off dating single moms because they do not want the responsibility of looking after someone else’s children.

However, they may not realize that there are lots of great reasons to date single moms – not least the level of emotional maturity they may have.




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